God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He is an equal opportunity slut.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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