I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
