drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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