fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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