I think my vagina is haunted
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
