the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
