Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
