I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
