It's like a parade of train wrecks.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
