You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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