I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
