i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
