So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
