i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
