I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
