That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
