the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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