did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
