I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
