Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
