arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
