Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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