meet me or not, i'm out of control
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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