so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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