I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
