just come out here and I will go home with you...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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