***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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