Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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