Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
