Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
