Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
