Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
