I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
