He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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