with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
