You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
