I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
