So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You are the jesus of drinking
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
