I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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