Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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