too bad you live with your parents still
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
