I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
