I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
