Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize