think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We got so high we made milksteak
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
