Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
