she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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