My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
