She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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