we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
