Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
