So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
