Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Moan for me like Helen Keller
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
