Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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