Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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