no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
