Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
