i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dick very happy bro
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
ok first of all what the fuck
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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