I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
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