i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I don't deserve a penis
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Let's get the cat blown out
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
