Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
