He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
