Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
